Sex and the Long Haul Pilot
“A layover in Singapore,” he wrote in his blog. “A dream come true!”
He is a commercial pilot working for a major airline and has just started doing the major international routes. What surprised me was the deluge of comments he received, asking him about the after-hours fun, how many air hostesses he’d slept with and even a few snide comments referring to the naivety of his wife. He tried repeatedly to deny the accusations that a pilot’s night life was all about fine dining and cheap sex but to no avail. The commenters knew better, he was just covering up.
I suppose it is the allure of travel – exotic locations and the scent of foreign spices. How could you not be excited and aroused? The concept that someone might pay you for the pleasure of travel – well, for most of us, it’s just a dream come true. And while we are daydreaming, why not include those fantasies of high life and easy conquests?
But it really is just fantasy – like gynaecologists having only beautiful sexy patients and McDonald’s staff getting all the hamburgers they can eat. It’s not the way the job really works! I decided I wanted to write a rebuttal.
I have quite a few friends who are pilots so I started to write up a quick questionnaire. Have you ever slept with a crew member? Did a layover ever turn into a hotbed of passion? Give me the real scoop!
“What are you doing?” Cliff asked me. “Is it really appropriate to be asking our friends about their sex life? I don’t understand.”
I explained about the layover fantasy, the people who seemed to think that a pilot’s life was a great sexual adventure.
“Well, not commercial pilots so much,” he interrupted me. “But there is some truth to it.”
I frowned, even my boyfriend believed the stories! Could it get any worse?
“No, really,” he said, “isn’t that what you do?”
“What? What are you talking about?” I was squeaking.
He had a funny little half-smile. “Travelling to exotic locations, finding the best restaurants, boozing it up before retiring to a hotel to have sex with the crew.”
The crew? I paused for a moment and then it clicked. “That’s you!”
I thought about his words for a moment while my mouth opened and closed again.
“I do, don’t I,” I said. The truth of the matter now laid plain for me.
You’ve got to feel sorry for commercial pilots – yeah, they get paid to fly but they work hard for the money and ask any one of them and they’ll say that a lot of the destinations are simply a place to rest up ready for the next flight. Chosen at random, just another route, a good place to get fuel.
Whereas we PPLers, we’re living the high life. Choosing our own travel routes and hand-picking our passengers – all optimised for maximum pleasure at our destinations.
So it seems that those commenters have got it right after all – they are just targeting the wrong pilots. In this particular case, it’s the amateurs living out the fantasies.