I spent last week in England, hoping to get a chance to fly the Saratoga and get current with my take-off and landings.

The one day that the plane was not available was Tuesday.

That was, of course, the only sunny day of the week. The rest of my time in England was spent watching the low clouds drift past and the rain fall in a long slow I-can-keep-this-up-forever drizzle which, by the end of the week, had shifted to snow.

When I saw the sunshine, I thought perhaps it would last a while. As I couldn’t fly, I thought I’d take advantage of the weather and explore the countryside. I took my iPhone and a raincoat and made my way outside. I sent messages to Twitter about my adventures as I went. Here’s the transcript of my no-fly day which turned out both more and less interesting than I expected.

Walking along the somewhat sodden trail of the Essex Way, I wasn’t sure where I was going.

I meandered along through a small village, sending scenes from my phone, hoping that I wouldn’t get lost.

Then I found this sign and I knew I had a purpose. I turned left at the junction and walked on, expecting to see a secret bunker just around the corner. But it didn’t appear and I found a number of junctions without sign posts. I was pretty sure I was lost.

I sent a message to Twitter that I was giving up.

I decided to walk to the next village and see if I could find a taxi. I had walked 6.5 kilometres (3 miles) in total and I couldn’t face walking straight back. I was feeling footsore and depressed when finally I found another sign at the roadside.

I’d found it!

There was a paved road curving through the fields. It looked like it might be a bit of a trek but I felt renewed at having finally found the place. It would be silly for me to turn back now.

But almost immediately, there was a new obstacle.

I posted the photograph with a plea for the Internet:

Help me out. Am I going to get shot at if I continue?

The general consensus was that I should carry on – after all, the big sign definitely said open. I had walked so far, it really seemed a shame to turn back now with nothing to show for it. I carried on.

I walked for another kilometre, past a paintball complex and through the carpark with a high tower on it that didn’t look super-secret to me.

The carpark was muddy and empty but then I saw two cars parked at the side, so I felt a bit more confident. There was a trail with signs saying This Way and then another sign on an unlocked gate saying Open!

So I continued. Finally I found it – a little farmhouse in the countryside, innocent as could be.

From a distance, it was a simple small bungalow hidden amongst the trees. Well, except for the tanks parked in the garden shed and a notice on the front steps:

“Welcome to the ex Government Regional HQ, the home of the Central Government in time of nuclear war.”

There were signs saying to come on in, take a wand, take the tour. As I walked into the building, it was clearly an unmanned entrance but everything was set up to make the instructions very clear. Take a wand and take the tour! Once you pass through this door, you MUST have a wand. Adults should take a red wand and listen to it!

I took a wand and listened to the soundtrack and walked through the door. I saw a new set of signs warning me that I was now committing myself to £6.50 entrance fee, to be paid at the exit. No credit cards. No exceptions. You are on CCTV, we know what you look like! Don’t think you can get away with it (and do you have a wand? You need a wand!)

I nervously checked my wallet to make sure I had £6.50 in change and waved at the camera.

I stared down the long concrete tunnel taking me down while I listened to the information on the wand. The bunker was built in 1952 and was meant to ensure the government’s survival in the event of a nuclear war. There were iron bunk beds pushed again the wall and radiation readers and gas masks – it truly looked like something directly out of Fallout 3. The tunnel, 120m long, led to the ground floor which was actually 80 foot below the the ground. It was as I reached this part of the tour that I began to suspect something was wrong. The initial lights and displays were on and there was a radio broadcasting METARS from main cities all over Europe. But this next section was dark. I hovered a bit, listening to the wand and looking for sensors that might put the lights on, and then I lost my nerve and ran up the stairs. My plan was to go straight to the exit and find out if there actually was someone collecting the entrance fees and watching the camera, someone who could verify that I was allowed to be there.

I found a canteen, lights on, and a sign asking people to put their money into the honesty box and leave their wands in a box on the counter. As I looked around, a young man came into the room and stared at me.

“What are you doing here?”

“I, um, I was doing the tour. But then some of the lights were off.”

“The lights,” he repeated. Then he spoke very slowly, as if speaking to a mad woman. Or to an American, which many Brits believe to be the same thing. “The lights are off because we are closed. There was a sign at the road saying that we are closed on Tuesdays.”

“Right, well, there was also a sign that said open.”

“Next to the sign that made it clear that we are closed on Tuesdays.” He raised his eyebrows in a way that said, surely I wasn’t going to argue that this was false?

“Right.” I smiled in what I hoped was a conciliatory manner. “So I’ll just, um, leave the wand with you and be on my way.”

“Yes,” he said. And just in case I hadn’t understood. “Because we are closed. It’s Tuesday.”

“Tuesday. Closed. Right.” I handed him the wand and fled.

He followed me to the exit and I updated the people watching on Twitter.

Bunker was definitely interesting. Also definitely closed. I was escorted off the premises.

I followed the path back to the main road and walked on until I found a pub, where I collapsed quietly and drank an ale called “Bitter and Twisted” until my feet stopped aching. And then I phoned Cliff and begged him to pick me up.

I sent one last message to reassure the people who had followed my adventures that I wasn’t in trouble.

And then I fell asleep.

The little bit of the bunker that I explored was fascinating and I will definitely be going back. There were also signs about a £5.00 licence to take photographs indoors, so next time I will take my Nikon with me for decent shots.

You can read more about the Kelvedon Hatch Secret Nuclear Bunker on the RGHQ 5.1 Official Website and, as of March 1st, they’ll be open every day. I’m looking forward to taking Connor to explore it – but probably not on a Tuesday. Just to be safe.

And if you want to follow my next adventure in realtime, just add me on Twitter as akaSylvia.

Andreas Zeitler is a German aviation professional who runs a website dedicated to airshows in Europe and features his photography from all around the world. I first discovered his photographs on Airliners.net and visited his website:
http://www.flying-wings.com.

I was thrilled to find a lot more photographs there as well as trip reports from his visits to Japan, Israel, Beirut and the US. Of course, he took plenty of photographs of interesting aircraft at all of these locations.

I mailed Zeitler and he kindly gave me permission to share his photography with you. I’ve added quotes from his website and links to further photographs in the set on the right of each photo:

Where? Reims, BA112 – France
When? 27-28 July 2009

The Meeting du Centenaire – “Meeting of the Centennial” – was announced as a big celebration of the first airshow held at Reims in August 1909, celebrated at the location that is today the airbase BA112 of the French Air Force. Additionally to this reason it was also the last meeting at this airbase which is due to close in 2011.

• Meeting du Centenaire
• Static_Display

 

Where? La Ferté-Alais / Aerodrome de Cerny
When? 31 May – 01 June 2009

Though the airshow season is not over yet, the event at La Ferté-Alais can surely be rated amongst the top shows of the year. This is not only due to perfect weather, but also due to a perfect mixed of some of the finest flying that you can imagine of aircraft from all eras.

• La Ferte-Alais
• Warbirds
• Modern_Jets

 

Where? Araxos and Kalamata AFB, Greece
When? Spring 2007

Very secretive and mostly inaccessible the HAF (Hellenic Air Force / ???????? ?????????) possesses a very interesting and mixed fleet, including some of the most appealing aircraft around Europe – either way because of the uniqueness of the type or just because of their striking camouflage.

• HAF – Corsairs and Buckeyes
• T-2s_at_Kalamata
• Wallpapers

 

Where? Japan – Kyushu and Okinawa
When? December 2008

The parachutists were a real surprise as there were being dropped out of the special coloured C-1 that we saw earlier in the static display. So we also got nice photos of this aircraft, and of course the Blue Impulse with their T-4 were performing at the end of the show.

• Japan 2008 Trip

 

Where? Midland, Texas – USA
When? 02-03 October 2004

While being at the FINA CAF Airsho (2004 report) I hade the possibility for several flights in historic aircraft, including one in a Curits C-46 Command to go on a photo mission. While up in the air, a Mitsubishi Zero, 2 P-51 Mustangs, 3 B-25 Mitchel and a Gruman US-2B Tracker joined on our wings and provided excellent photo opportunities.
Going up in the early morning gave some excellent photos, and the flight in the Gruman Tracker was also an unforgettable experience during these few days in Texas.

• The CAF high above Texas

 

Where? Edwards AFB, California
When? 17 October 2009

Flight Test Nation 2009 astounded 225,000 visitors from across the world as they got the opportunity to see some of the nation’s newest aircraft along with various historical ones. Commemorating the 50th anniversary of the X-15, FTN-09 was the first Air Show hosted by Team Edwards since 2006.

• Edwards Flight Test Nation
• ED Aircraft
• Flight Displays
• Static Display

 

---

 

If you like what you see, head on over to http://www.flying-wings.com where there are many more photographs and interesting essays to go with them.

You can also sign up to his newsletter for notifications when he updates. I’m certainly hoping to see more of his photography in 2010!

Kate Burrows was flying from Guernsey back home to the Isle of Man in her PA30, a Comanche Twin, when she noticed problems with her right engine. She shut down the engine and, as she was still some 38 miles from the Isle of Man, she decided to divert to Blackpool. A few minutes later, her left engine lost power. She contacted the distress centre and they recommended she continue to Blackpool but she realised she wasn’t going to make it.

Another pilot heard the conversation and reported it on PPRuNe.
GA Aircraft Ditching Irish Sea

Heard this unfold on D&D when overflying – Female pilot reporting double engine failure and unable to make destination at that time reported to be 18 miles away. She sound relatively calm and composed under the circumstances, reporting that she was visual with some oil rigs and would circle around them…….and “possibly land on one”!! However I am delighted that she made it, job well done – even if it wasn’t the planned outcome!

Kate Burrows signed up to the forums as ManxLadyBird and gave a first hand account of her experience:

I did indeed ditch in the Irish sea. I was about 38 miles from IOM when my right prop had a runaway, it was overspeeding in excess of 2800 rpm and I could not stabilise it. The MP was low as well so I did not have much to play with. I felt it was uncontrollable and shut it down.

The PA30 can fly perfectly well on one engine so I descended to 4000 ft to get out of the cloud layers and diverted to Blackpool. About 6 minutes into my diversion my left engine lost power. My MP was down to 17 inches. I did all the checks changed fuel tanks, cross feed, electrics, boost pumps etc. No go.

D & D wanted me to try for Blackpool 18 miles away but I would not have reached there. I was near the oil rigs so elected to land in the vicinity. I spotted the support ship and ditched near it. I got out and had to hold onto the life raft. There were no steps on the life raft and no way to pull myself in.

The oil rig helicopter was hovering nearby to spot me whilst the support vessel rescue craft picked me up. Once on the ship I was checked out and the RAF Seaking from RAF Valley winched me up and took me to Blackpool. I was checked out at the Hospital there and ok to fly home on Manx2.com’s aircraft. All the emergency services and the police were fantastic and couldn’t have been more helpful.

Lots of things were in my favour. In my training as a commercial pilot it was instilled ‘fly the aircraft’. Sort out the problem and then make a decision and stick to it. This is what I did. My husband insisted on me flying in an immersion suit. Thanks to him, it helped. The weather was benign but cold. The sea had slight swell. If the wind had been greater than the 15 or so knots the waves would have been bigger and it might have been different. The ship was there and were alerted so I was only in the water for about 5 minutes.

Was there anything I would have done differently , no I don’t think so. I did everything I could think of the get my engines back but once I had made the decision I followed it through. Even having 2 engines doesn’t always guarantee getting there but someone was looking over my shoulder on Wednesday and I am here to have Christmas with my family.

The PA30 hit the water at approximately 90mpg. The pilot’s description of the final moments of the flight were published in the Isle of Man Today:

‘I opened the door of the cockpit prior to touching down. I didn’t really have time to think about it — I just got into emergency mode. I said a few Anglo Saxon words to the effect “oh dear, I’m going to get wet”.

‘I landed tail heavy so it took all the force of the approach. The tail took the brunt, the cockpit bellyflopped and the door flew open. An oil rig helicopter hovered about 100ft away.

‘I climbed on to the wing and made for my life raft but I couldn’t get in it — I was hanging on to the side. The tail of the aircraft was at 90 degrees to the fuselage.

‘I was only in the water for four to five minutes when the fast response craft from the support vessel came to pick me up.’

She rang and told her husband: ‘I’ve broken the aeroplane and my finger nail.

He replied: ‘Why can’t you just break cars like other people!’

Meanwhile, back at the PPRuNe forums, ManxLadyBird gave a detailed description of how she felt as this was happening.

GA Aircraft Ditching Irish Sea:

If you remember back to your very first landing you did as a student pilot, not even a solo, but your first. You thought you were going far too fast and ooooh ‘eck its gonna hurt, but you flared and the wheels touch down and all was calm…. well the first part is true and the second part isn’t.

I was lucky because I had my undercarriage folded away so I had a relatively smooth underside. But you feel you are coming in far too fast, but you cannot slow down, certainly in a Comanche as if you go much below 80 knots she will fall out of the sky, so you come in fast, the lower to the water you get you tend to lose a bit of elevator authority or so it felt, you feel like you want to stretch the glide but that won’t work either.

At the last couple of feet you haul on the elevator and touch down tail hard so it takes all the force of the landing and bleeds the speed off. It makes a hell of a bang, and if I knew what hitting a brick wall was like I would say it was like hitting a brick wall. It was hard.

The main fuselage then belly flops on the water. You should already have opened the door and latched it open on the way down so when the frame distorts your door is already open. On the way down you have opened the door, you should then tighten your straps and put your feet on the floor. If they are on the pedals they could slip past and get trapped. What are you going to do with the pedals anyway? I also held onto the controls as a way of bracing myself.

I think because of hitting the tail hard and my bracing I prevented myself taking the full force of the ditching and therefore prevented whiplash. I had also made sure my props were feathered so the water did not catch them and help water loop me.

All my safety equipment was in easy grab reach. I told the D&D people exactly where I was ( but they knew that) and what I was going to do and they worked the rescue round me. They wanted me to glide 18 miles but I knew I had about 10 miles glide so I had to make the plan and execute it.

The other thing to remember is that your time frames all go to pot. What you think is 5 minutes could be 30 seconds or 10 minutes. I do know however that I ditched at 1223, like a good pilot I looked at my watch on landing!!

It’s always good to reflect on accidents with a positive outcome.

I found it fascinating to read a first-hand account of the sequence of events and how Kate Burrows dealt with the situation.

I can only hope that I am as level-headed and organised if I end up in a distress situation.

In lieu of a post today, here are some links regarding the situation in Haiti, with a focus on aviation.

These photographs are not easy to look at but helped me to understand the scale of the devastation.
Earthquake in Haiti – The Big Picture – Boston.com

Tuesday afternoon, January 12th, the worst earthquake in 200 years – 7.0 in magnitude – struck less than ten miles from the Caribbean city of Port-au-Prince, Haiti. The initial quake was later followed by twelve aftershocks greater than magnitude 5.0. Structures of all kinds were damaged or collapsed, from shantytown homes to national landmarks. It is still very early in the recovery effort, but millions are likely displaced, and thousands are feared dead as rescue teams from all over the world are now descending on Haiti to help where they are able. As this is a developing subject, I will be adding photos to this entry over the next few days, but at the moment, here is a collection of photos from Haiti over the past 24 hours.

U.S. Provides ATC Support To Haiti | AVIATION WEEK

A member of the U.S. State Dept. Haiti Task Force said the U.S. Coast Guard was operating flights into the airport that were controlled from a USCG cutter operating in the bay outside the city.

Haiti Airport The Beachhead And Bottleneck For Aid

January 14, United States Air Force Special Tactics personnel were on the ground controlling airport operations at Toussaint L’Ouverture International, Haiti, but the ramp area was already saturated with 44 aircraft, forcing a temporary closure. The airport operates a control tower, two fuel trucks and one 9,974-foot runway. The control tower was rendered useless by the January 12 earthquake. Initial aid flights arrived using the UNICOM frequency to organize themselves, then by a U.S. Coast Guard Cutter off the coast. But two days later, the airspace was closed, turning away 11 aircraft that had been waiting for other flights to depart so they could land. Among those turned away was a C-130 from the 15th Special Operations Squadron at Hurlburt Field, Fla.. With ground damage hindering the expedient dispersion of supplies, and physical space preventing further arrivals, departures were at the same time beginning to be challenged by a dwindling fuel supply. The American aircraft carrier USS Carl Vinson had by Thursday been dispatched to the region, primarily looking at providing increased helicopter capacity in the afflicted area.

The January 12 earthquake that struck near Port-au-Prince, Haiti, leveled much of of the capital city and crippled the country’s infrastructure, including water pipelines. With the Haitian airport operating at capacity, the USS Carl Vinson will be able to provide helicopters for aid distribution and emergency air lift operations, including moving construction equipment to areas unreachable by now destroyed roads. First estimates from the American Red Cross listed the potential dead tally at 45,000-50,000.

Air Care Alliance has a Listing of Organizations with volunteers flying to help others.

Although Operation Teacup is not in this list (and I don’t know them personally), their website struck me as up-to-the-minute and with a clear plan.

Operation Teacup organises volunteer efforts for pilots and aircraft owners. They are concentrating their efforts on relief flights to the Eluthera, Bahamas staging area for ferry flights to Haiti. At the moment they are trying to collect 400 pilot / aircraft owners to volunteer to help with transport.

Single engine airplanes are useful for transporting supplies into Governor’s Harbour Airport in the Bahamas from Venice, Florida. For flights to Haiti, multi-engine airplanes are required.

If you want to offer transportation and/or flying skills, you can volunteer directly with your details and home airfield. Aircraft owners should include plane registration, pilot certificate number, useful load and runway needed for take-off at gross weight.

You can find details of the route planning on the Haiti information page on the Operation Teacup site.

Note that Craig Fuller from the Aircraft Owners and Pilots Association recommends donating the cost of a flight in wake of Haiti earthquake.

Alternatively, we encourage pilots to consider donating the cost of a flight to Haiti in their GA aircraft to an established organization that is helping with the relief efforts. To help you determine the cost, we’ve calculated the flight time from Florida’s Miami International to Port-au-Prince for various GA aircraft. For aircraft with cruise speeds of 110 knots, the flight would take 5.5 hours; 140-knot cruise speed, 4.5 hours; and 160-knot cruise speed, 4 hours. The average price of avgas this week is $4.61 a gallon.

I was supposed to be flying to Gatwick commercially today with a certain unhappy low-cost airline but as the country is currently gripped in the worst cold snap in 100 years my trip has been cancelled. This means that I am thrilled devasted to find that I’m stuck in sunny Spain with a free day.

Yeah, it’s heartbreaking. I think I just lost all my English readers.

I have a whole set of bookmarks for watching airfield webcams. Funny, it seems that it’s somewhat quiet on the runways at most of the UK airfields. But as I am resigned to not flying anyway, I have to admit that some of the views today are just beautiful. Just linking the webcams doesn’t show you what I saw (and you have a high chance of seeing nothing but black sky at the Scottish airfields at this time of year!) so I’ve taken a set of screenshots to share with you. Simply click on any image to get to the live webcam page for each site.

White Waltham	Aboyne Airfield
Wellesbourne Airfield	Fife Airport
Shoreham Airport	Bembridge Airport
Glenforsa	Cambridge Gliding Club
Gloucestershire Airport	Oxford Airport

Great wintery scenes: I think the CAA should make it mandatory for every airfield to have a webcam! I started to look to see if I could find any more but it’s already dark in Scotland and looking at black webcams isn’t quite so much fun.

Enough airport hopping. I guess I’ll just have to move away from the computer and look out the window instead. The view from here is very similar to this webcam, set up a few miles up the coast.

It’s a tough life, but somebody’s got to do it. ;)

FiveThirtyEight: Politics Done Right: The Odds of Airborne Terror has done some interesting research:

Over the past decade, there have been, by my count, six attempted terrorist incidents on board a commercial airliner than landed in or departed from the United States: the four planes that were hijacked on 9/11, the shoe bomber incident in December 2001, and the NWA flight 253 incident on Christmas.

Leading to this detailed Gizmodo image of the data:

More surprisingly, both FiveThirtyEight and Gizmodo have managed to maintain sensible discussion within the comments (for the most part). One worrying aspect of the conversation from my point of view is how many people have stated that they avoid flying whenever possible – not due to fear of terrorism but to avoid the queues and hassle of going through security checks.

I’ve posted that when I’m travelling between Malaga and London, the 7-hour flight in the Saratoga is less stressful than flying commercially and with delays being common, it often takes the same amount of time or less. I used to joke that I’d prefer flying British Airways so that I could drink a gin and tonic but these days I’d rather have the option of leaving my shoes and belt on in public. It just seems as if the terrorists are managing to disrupt so many lives all over the world – isn’t the situation somewhat of a Pyrrhic victory on our part?

Anyway – head on over for more detail: The True Odds of Airborne Terror Chart – Odds of Airborne Attacks – Gizmodo with stats from FiveThirtyEight: Politics Done Right: The Odds of Airborne Terror.

(via The Wings Stayed On!)

I’m not sure how 2009 managed to disappear quite so quickly! But it’s gone and I’m quite happy to be able to talk about my plans for twentyten like I’m from some sort of futuristic sci-fi film.

Before I start investigating what I need to get a space licence, I thought I’d take a final look backwards and see what posts you all seemed to enjoy most over the past year.

Here is the top ten for 2009:

Ten

Have You Seen These?

A selection of aviation articles and images that I found intriguing.

Nine

Sex and the Long Haul Pilot

I have quite a few friends who are pilots so I started to write up a quick questionnaire. Have you ever slept with a crew member? Did a layover ever turn into a hotbed of passion? Give me the real scoop!

Eight

Pitch vs. Power: Landing Better

Like most PPLs, I was taught to use attitude to control airspeed and power to control height. However, the inertia of the Saratoga and its tendency to sink like a stone at low speed, combined with my inability to nudge the power gently enough to keep my pitch steady, can make this difficult. A bad approach can feel like a ship in heavy weather as I adjust the power back and forth to try to keep my perspective of the runway correct.

Seven

Brookman’s Park VOR (BPK)

I shouldn’t have hopped the fence.

It was shut with a big padlock and surrounded by barbed wire so I can’t exactly claim that I hadn’t noticed it.

Six

Military Jet Buzzing Santa Monica Pier

Last November, two high-performance military jets departed Van Nuys airport in California as a formation flight to gather footage for a film in production called Kerosene Cowboys. The plan was for the jets to do four passes off of the coast of the Santa Monica pier, west of a banner tow aircraft towing a banner for the film. The first passes went as planned and then one of the pilots broke away and flew low over the beach area for multiple passes in excess of 250 knots (two of the passes were below 500 feet) and then pulled into a steep climb just before the pier.

Five

Just Like A Woman

I was no stranger to the attitude that women shouldn’t fly. I did my PPL training in southern Spain which was a unique introduction to Mediterranean machismo.

Four

All I Need is the Air that I Breathe

A tragic VFR case in 2003 involved a PA-28 flying over the Rockies. You can read the full accident report from the NTSB – again a number of issues came into play. The pilot was delayed due to bad weather and changed her planned routing to avoid further weather. She requested an altitude of 15,500 feet. The PA-28 was unpressurised and did not carry supplementary oxygen. Radar data indicates that the pilot flew above 12,500 feet for 2 hours, 17 minutes, above 14,000 feet for 1 hour, 49 minutes, and at approximately 16,000 feet for an estimated 45 minutes.

Three

A Mexican Adventure

Joe is a pilot, sailor, former Marine (sniper) and an excellent story teller. He is 83 now and still going strong. He has neuropathy in his hands which means he can no longer use a typewriter normally. He doesn’t let that stop him, slowly typing out emails with two pencils so that he can tell friends about his adventures. I asked for his permission to share one with you.

Two

Drunk steals plane at airshow

The pilot is Kyle Franklin from Franklin’s Flying Circus & Airshow. He is married to the beautiful Amanda Younkin, who manages Franklin’s Flying Circus and Younkin Airshows. Kyle and Bobby Younkin are the pilots – although Amanda can fly as well. When she was featured in the 2010 Bombshell calendar, she was the only babe to fly the planes as well as pose in front of them.

One

FAA Approved?

So, the story goes that the Alaskan pilot had 2 new tires, three cases of speed tape and several rolls of cellophane delivered to the site and promptly repaired his plane so that he could fly it home.

If I was hoping for a specific direction to go in, well, this has proved that my own personal eclectic tastes are shared by a good many of you. A good mix of topics and approaches seems to have worked so far!

I’ve very much enjoyed the online community that is growing around General Aviation and the conversations I’ve been able to take part in, both here and on your blogs.

I’m looking forward to 2010 and more of the same!

A retelling of the 19th-century story, especially for aviators. This has been floating around the Internet for years in various forms — and probably was passed around as photocopies for years before that.

‘Twas the night before Christmas, and out on the ramp,
Not an airplane was stirring, not even a Champ.
The aircraft were fastened to tie downs with care,
In hopes that — come morning — they all would be there.

The fuel trucks were nestled, all snug in their spots,
With gusts from two-forty at 39 knots.
I slumped at the fuel desk, now finally caught up,
And settled down comfortably, resting my butt.

When the radio lit up with noise and with chatter,
I turned up the scanner to see what was the matter.
A voice clearly heard over static and snow,
Called for clearance to land at the airport below.

He barked his transmission so lively and quick,
I’d have sworn that the call sign he used was “St. Nick.”
I ran to the panel to turn up the lights,
The better to welcome this magical flight.

He called his position, no room for denial,
“St. Nicholas One, turnin’ left onto final.”
And what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a Rutan-built sleigh, with eight Rotax Reindeer!

With vectors to final, down the glideslope he came,
As he passed all fixes, he called them by name:
“Now Ringo! Now Tolga! Now Trini and Bacun!
On Comet! On Cupid!” What pills was he takin’?

While controllers were sittin’, and scratchin’ their heads,
They phoned to my office, and I heard it with dread,
The message they left was both urgent and dour:
“When Santa pulls in, have him please call the tower.”

He landed like silk, with the sled runners sparking,
Then I heard, “Left at Charlie,” and “Taxi to parking.”
He slowed to a taxi, turned off of three-oh,
And stopped on the ramp with a “Ho, ho-ho-ho…”

He stepped out of the sleigh, but before he could talk,
I ran out to meet him with my best set of chocks.
His red helmet and goggles were covered with frost,
And his beard was all blackened from Reindeer exhaust.

His breath smelled like peppermint, gone slightly stale,
And he puffed on a pipe, but he didn’t inhale.
His cheeks were all rosy and jiggled like jelly,
His boots were as black as a cropduster’s belly.

He was chubby and plump, in his suit of bright red,
And he asked me to “fill it, with hundred low-lead.”
He came dashing in from the snow-covered pump,
I knew he was anxious for drainin’ the sump.

I spoke not a word, but went straight to my work,
And I filled up the sleigh, but I spilled like a jerk.
He came out of the restroom, and sighed in relief,
Then he picked up a phone for a Flight Service brief.

And I thought as he silently scribed in his log,
These reindeer could land in an eighth-mile fog.
He completed his pre-flight, from the front to the rear,
Then he put on his headset, and I heard him yell, “Clear!”

And laying a finger on his push-to-talk,
He called up the tower for clearance and squawk.
“Take taxiway Charlie, the southbound direction,
Turn right three-two-zero at pilot’s discretion”

He sped down the runway, the best of the best,
“Your traffic’s a Grumman, inbound from the west.”
Then I heard him proclaim, as he climbed thru the night,
“Merry Christmas to all! I have traffic in sight.”

Thanks to AVweb: The Night Before Christmas – Aviation Style

The wind is 22 gusting 30. I am sitting indoors, watching flight videos and reading accident reports. GA pilots go through accident reports like they are candy. We experience vicariously the scenarios that we desperately hope will never actually happen to us and what better time than when we are stuck on the ground anyway?

It’s the same every winter – my eyes start darting from the calendar to my log book to the calendar again as I edge towards becoming out of date. The weather and Christmas sloth combine to make flying seem like a chore. I can never get excited about circuits for the sake of circuits. I’d love to go somewhere; however travelling becomes riskier with the variable weather, the likelihood of getting stranded becomes higher. Every December, my desire to get into the plane hits an annual low.

It’s easy to focus on the negatives. I do the same when it comes to skiing. When I’m home, I think about the cold and the bruises on my shoulders from carrying the skis and the way the boots cut into my shins and the sore muscles and the wet gloves. But I know that when I’m up there, coming down the crystal white mountain, feeling the ground slide beneath me, making my way down the slope, it’ll all come back to me: this is why I do this. It’s a physical rush.

Flying doesn’t have quite the same effect or at least, not if everything goes to plan. I’m pleased if it is all goes as expected but I’m not breathless. I may gasp a bit if things go wrong, but the ball in the pit of my stomach while I try to sort it out is not a feeling I can claim to enjoy.

And so now, sitting safe and warm at the computer, I find it hard to get excited because I’m thinking about planning, not flying. I don’t want to get out the maps and get to the airport early and check the plane and beg ATC to fit me in between all the jet airliners. I can’t think of anywhere I want to go. It feels like hard work.

I go to the airfield anyway and sit in the coffee shop, listening to other grounded pilots. I’m hoping for a reminder of why I love flying, why I spend so much time and money and effort into this hobby. I want to be up there, conquering the sky, a young man says, gazing out the window with undisguised yearning. I have to hide my confusion. There is no such colonialist desire in my heart, I have no visions of conquest. But then I think about his words again and realise that I’m wrong. It’s not the sky that I want to subdue, it is myself.

I want to have flown more than I want to fly. I want to have survived another trip, I want to learn another trick, I want another story to tell. I want to conquer my own inexperience and ineptitude.

That young man might fly because he yearns for the freedom of flight but that isn’t what drives me.

I fly to land.

Every time I successfully land the plane I feel an adrenaline rush that it would take class A drugs to recreate. The first time, I was shaking as I got out of the plane but the victory was undeniable: I flew this plane and I brought it to the ground. I navigated and interacted and then touched the flying beast onto a specific runway at a specific point (sometimes even gently).

I fly to prove I can, over and over again.

What is it that draws you to flight? And was it always that way?

I had to cover my eyes to watch this video the first time I was shown it. But then I kept peeking through my fingers.

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Totally amazing. It’s hard for me to imagine ever having the skill required to appear to fly that badly. It’s awesome. He’s got incredible control.

The pilot is Kyle Franklin from Franklin’s Flying Circus & Airshow. He is married to the beautiful Amanda Younkin, who manages Franklin’s Flying Circus and Younkin Airshows. Kyle and Bobby Younkin are the pilots – although Amanda can fly as well. When she was featured in the 2010 Bombshell calendar, she was the only babe to fly the planes as well as pose in front of them.

(Hey, another great gift idea! You can buy the calendar online at My Bombshells)

A high resolution copy of film can be downloaded from their website along with a dozen other clips of the circus in action at Franklin’s Flying Circus Video Page. This particular clip is the one marked as “Comedy Act Video Download” and worth watching full-screen on the biggest monitor you can find.

The website also includes details of Jimmy Franklin and Bobby Younkin, who tragically crashed at the Saskatchewan Centennial Air Show in 2005. Their air show team, Masters of Disaster was one of the most sought after in the industry at the time of the accident.

I enjoyed reading the short essays but was especially entranced by the descriptions of Kyle Franklin growing up with airshows as a standard backdrop of his childhood:

Kyle grew up living in a hangar-house in Ruidoso, NM. The hangar soon became his favorite playground as well as a place where he and his father shared quality time servicing Waco’s, Super Cubs, and the Aerostar. Kyle’s first airplane ride was four weeks after his birth. Father Jimmy taught him how to fly when he was eight years old and later taught him aerobatics. As a toddler, Kyle seized every opportunity to wing-walk in Dad’s Waco Mystery Ship as it taxied on about on the ground at air shows. Kyle took his first airborne wing-walk at age 14, and just three years later he was wing-walking professionally at age 17.

I am definitely hoping to see more of Kyle, Bobby and Amanda and Franklin’s Flying Circus & Airshow.